Mari sedikit bicara tentang kegigihan…

“Mari sedikit bicara tentang kegigihan”

Ini foto gua sama Farid Faisal Bestari bersama Uni Intan dan Miss Katie, setelah beres lomba MUN di 8Schoolastic 2012: my first competition (and failure) experience in highschool.

Gua ingat betul, pada saat itu belum ada 3 bulan gua sekolah di IC. Dalam kondisi masih “bocah ingusan” yang baru lolos PTS, uni gua bilang kalau OSIS di sekolahnya (SMA 8 Jakarta) ngadain acara namanya 8Schoolastic 2012 dan di dalamnya ada lomba yang gua baru pernah denger: Model United Nations. Hearing how we’d be assigned with different countries and that we’d act as if we’re official diplomats, just can’t hold the highschool-version of me (young, spirited and alive IR “International Relations” geek) from joining the floor. At first I was nervous, if not frightened, as it’s just crystal clear that I was still nothing but a puny newbie. But that conditon, at the same time, was the reason for me to get spirited. Why? Well, to quote the younger-me, “kalo gua menang, gua bakal jadi anak pertama di angkatan gua yang nyumbang piala buat sekolah!”

Fiuh…jadi keingetan betapa berantakan “performa” gua di MUN pertama gua itu. Di saat gua yang sekarang (yang udah jadi mahasiswa Hi dan beberapa kali ikut MUN) ngebaca ulang position paper MUN pertama yang gua tulis saat itu, jujur gua MALU BANGET: grammar masih berantakan, struktur ga jelas, pingin sok-sok pake vocab sophisticated kaya “designate”, “jeopardize”, etc tapi malah salah konteks. Sebenarnya bodoh juga saat di lomba MUN pertama itu gua berfikir, “yah minimal kita bakal juara 3 lah”, karena nyatanya emang gua sebenarnya gaada kesempatan buat menang; lawan gua itu veteran MUN semua coy. Maka pas para juara diumumkan, ternyata bener: gua kalah! Gua mencoba sebisa mungkin agar temen2 gua gaada yang tau (kalo gasalah sih gua cuma cerita ke @hilmialf doang). Yang bikin gua stress juga adalah, gara-gara kekalahan itu gua mikir “wah kalau gua sekarang udah kalah, nanti sekolah mana bakal percaya ma gua buat ngizinin ikut lomba2 lagi”

But that not-so-success story became my milestone. Post-that-failure, I ain’t only aim no mountain; I aimed the sky, I aimed to fly high. Walau baru se-level Jabodatebk aja belum menang, sekarang gua langsung daftar MUN tingkat dunia; yak Moscow International Model United Nations 2013. Inget banget gua betapa banyak pelajaran gua lewat, betapa banyak tugas OSIS keteteran cuma buat bikin pospap yg bener2 bagus, brainstorm (bakal) draft resolutions yang outstanding, bolak-balik ngurus visa, cari sponsor, dll. Dan Alhamdulillah, usaha gua terbayar: Best Delegate of Economic and Finance (2nd Committee) of UN General Assembly MIMUN 2013. Dari situlah, gua bener2 bisa confident untuk ikut MUN-MUN lain. Universitas Indonesia ALSA (Asian Law Student Association) MUN, 8Schoolastic 2013, UPH (Universitas Pelita Harapan) MUN dan juga ASEAN Summit Model yg diadain Kemenlu, semua gua jabanin. Gua seneng bisa mempersembahkan piala pertama MUN ke sekolah gua; gua seneng bisa raise awareness di sekolah gua kalo prestasi itu ga harus melulu lewat Olimpiade; dan gua seneng bisa nyalurin passion IR gua, terlepas betapa beratnya persiapan tiap lomba, dengan begitu menyenangkan!

And here I am, studying in an outstanding IR program in one of Japan’s oldest IR colleges, meeting brilliant scholars of supercalifragilisticexpialidocious posture, having the real deal that my MUN experience had introduced to me at first.

As I look further back, a sudden cognizance just popped in my head: had I taken my failure in my first MUN experience to hold back and say “OK, it’s over, it’s time to give up…you ought not to continue, mate. This bitter failure would be your first and last”, I wouldn’t been able to fly to Russia and join other MUNs that came afterwards; Had I not joined these MUNs and meet other IR geeks of my age, I won’t become this “obssesed” with IR; And had I not been obsessed with IR, then entering an IR college (the way as I’m now standing) would have less of an appeal for me.

Simply put, it’s just funny that my trivial decision that time to say “oh well, let’s give it another try” can lead to the path upon which I’ll be walking my whole live. If anything left to say, I’d like to re-convice my self and the people reading this -clearly and adamantly- that If you really hate failure so much, and you just can’t help yourself to love and embrace failure, then at least RESPECT it. For as much as failure left you painful scars, so does it bless you with hidden surprises -visible only by those of genuine cordiality and patience.

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